How does the divorce process start?
Everyone in the family is affected by the divorce process differently. Often the problems arise from the fact that the parties cannot see that they are at different stages. The person who wants to divorce has probably spent much time to take this decision. The person has probably completed the stage of feeling sorry and is ready to begin a new life. But if the other partner has not yet come to that stage, he may have intense feeling of anger. These may even exacerbate the conflicts.
Is divorce or a marriage with problems more harmful?
A conflicting marriage also doesmore harm than good for children. It is clear that the children who grow up in an environment where the parents argue all the time have much deeper psychological problems.
How should you behave your children after divorce?
In families with children, the divorce process does not end with the termination of the legal agreement. After the divorce, the bond between the children and the parents can change spatially, but should continue emotionally. The parent who leaves the home should continue to meet with the child regularly. Separated parents should find the way to reconcile on the issues about their children in a civilized way. The children shouldn’t be assumed responsible for the conflicts between the husband and wife that lead to the end of the marriage.
How should divorce be explained to children?
Explaining the divorce decision to the children should be the joint work of the parents. The explanation of the divorce decision should be made according to the age of the children. In pre-school period, it is very suitable to make simple and brief explanations. As the child grows his questions will increase and he will seek answers for various questions like the reason of the divorce. It will be sufficient to say that he is never the cause of the divorce or husbands and wives sometimes disagree and it becomes difficult for them to live in the same house, but they will always be with him as the parents. You can try to give brief answers to the questions they are asking.
How does divorce affect children of different ages?
The development stage and age of the child in the post-divorce period are the factors affecting the child’s perception of the situation and his reactions to the divorce. Peaceful families also try to calm down their children during this period. Those are the children who will experience the effects of divorce at minimum level.
Regression can be observed in pre-school children. Increase in babyish behaviors, bedwetting and speech disorders can be observed. Some children may think that their parents are divorcing and one of the parents has to leave home because of them.Feelings of uneasiness and anger can be seen.
When we look at the school-age children, intense sadness and stress can be observed after the divorce. While younger children can match their sadness with symbols, school-age children are aware of what they are experiencing. They feel extremely sad and fear from the future. They feel that there will be no safe place for them anymore. Sometimes the child supposes that he is the one who has to leave home.
9 or 10-year-old children can fully perceive the truth of the divorce. They struggle to bring an order to their world in chaos. They usually hide their feelings. They may not even want to talk about the divorce. They can be ashamed of divorce. They cannot be successful in their school life. Their relationship with friends may get worse. When their behaviors are observed, it is seen that they exhibit destructive, hostile, belligerent or revengeful behaviors.
How does divorce affect children during adolescence period?
According to the studies conducted, adolescence constitutes the age group that is mostly affected by divorce. The divorce is about to occur in a time when they seek their own identity and struggle for their independence. Because of divorce, adolescents can be obliged to take sides against one of the parents. Some of them are filled with hate against the parent who leaves the home and help the parent staying at home. While some are engaged in activities that they find relaxing, others may attempt to abandon home. But the majority of them get away from their marriage-related thoughts or having children. Possible problems in post-divorce adolescence period arerelationship problems, hostile attitudes towards parents or leaving home.
What do children think during divorce?
At any age, children start to worry about issues they have never had to worry about before. “Where will I live after the divorce?”, “Will I have to change my school?”, “What am I going to say to my friends?”, “Can I see my mother or my dad when I want?” It is very important to answer all these questions.